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A couple weeks back, before I made my solo getaway to Hong Kong, I shared in a random post about my first time trying a Poke Bowl from Aloha Poke even though I’ve blindly tried my hand at making one before.


After finding all sorts of deliciousness in that bowl of greens, sushi brown rice, pineapple chunks, pomegranate seeds, cherry tomatoes, jalepeños and marinated salmon, I decided to make my own bowl for Flo’s and my dinner one evening figuring that it might prove to be a little painful on our wallets.

I even made him a little chit although he didn’t get to tick any of the boxes since I already had the ingredients at hand so really it was just created for a bit of fun. I ticked all the boxes before he even arrived home. It would have been pretty cool to allow him to create his own bowl but then there’d only be one, two, or three options available depending on the category and my chit wouldn’t have looked as elaborate.


As you can see, it was a bowl consisting of marinated tuna, sweet potato wedges, cherry tomatoes, french beans, some wakame, and smashed avocado, all on a bed of baby spinach. I managed to include some pineapple chunks as well since we had some fresh pineapple sitting in our chiller and honestly, all it takes is pineapple to awaken the Hawaiian in the poke bowl.

There’s so many ways to marinate your fish and so many things you can throw on top to make it more tropical, or more Oriental in flavour. A bit of wasabi, a hint of srirachi, a splash of teriyaki, a shmear of gochujang and you may be transported into a wholly different world. You can top it with kimchi, pickled onions, fresh corn kernels, edamame and sprinkle some furikake on top.

You can use other types of seafood such as scallops or prawns. You can make it vegan and use tofu, or I’ve seen some people use watermelon as well. Although yes yes, traditionally it is Ahi Tuna but hey, food is constantly evolving to suit the tastebuds of the world! The poke bowl is your oyster! In fact, it’s like what everyone’s calling Buddha Bowl (which is funny to me because if you’re referencing the Laughing Buddha, he has a big pot belly), or the Green Goddess Bowl, only this has marinated fish on top.


Tuna Poke (Serves 2)

200g Fresh Tuna, cut in 0.5″ chunks
40g Red Onions sliced thinly
2g Mixed Sesame Seeds
8g Soy Sauce
2g Sesame Oil
2g Honey
Crushed red chilli flakes
Sea Salt

  1. In a medium sized bowl, mix everything together adding chilli flakes and sea salt to taste.
  2. Keep chilled in fridge until ready to eat.

    * I recommend making this about 2 hours before serving so that the flavours have time to meld together. Remember, the fish is raw so don’t keep leftovers – not that there’ll be any, and make this on the day you plan on consuming it.

Anyway, this recipe that I’ve shared is only for the tuna poke that I made for Flo and I the other day. It’s simple and can be made with your eyes half-closed. There’s zero cooking involved but so much wholesome yumminess that it’d be the perfect dish to show off to friends and family for a light, refreshing meal. Include some white or brown rice, or quinoa or couscous, or sweet potato or cauliflower mash – whatever floats your boat, for a heavier meal.

To be honest, I don’t really weigh out all the sauces for the marinade. Most of the time it’s a dash of this and a splash of that. You can adjust the flavour of the marinade to your liking. I’d love to try some other flavours another time – perhaps a poke bowl with a Cajun spin? Or Korean perhaps? Hmm… Still, I have to admit that ordering from Poke shops around Singapore is sometimes that bit more convenient especially when you have a sudden attack of poke cravings. It’s not about being lazy ok?! It’s about… finding inspiration from other sources! Lol.

Happy Poke-ing for now people. I promise you, this is awesome especially when it’s hot outdoors. And it’s always hot in Singapore! Except when it’s not.

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It’s been a while since I last shared about my visits to Dr. A. I did see her for a session the week I returned from London but I didn’t feel like I took too much away from that. Last Friday was a little more productive. It was a bit of a frenzied morning and the heavy rain made me reluctant to drive. However, I had to deliver 5 large boxes of muffins after so I had little choice but to push ahead. And of course, I lived to tell the tale.

With regards to ED recovery, I feel very much as though I’ve hit a rut. I’m not falling back, but I’m not pushing far ahead either. I guess it’s been tiring mentally for me especially because I’m also trying to organise the memorial my extended family wants to hold for Aunty Judy. It won’t be a big one but I’ve been looking up possible venues and trying to liase with the events managers in order to decipher where will be best for us in terms of price and location.

Still, Dr. A mentioned that she can see that I do have a strong determination to reach my goal weight and cultivate a healthy relationship with food, and that it is sometimes about strategy. The same strategy can be applied to every one person struggling with ED, but the outcome will vary. So in that sense, we all require a strategy most useful to us in order to keep forging forward as no one strategy fits all.

We discussed a little about how I may be able to motivate myself further and agreed that I can continue to eat the foods I am already eating, but to add a little more. That is, to increase my portions of fruits and vegetables since that’s the food group I fear the least and also one that ED is likely to close one eye on. From there, I will need to keep working my way up to a portion that is normal and sustainable.

Flo and I just spent the long weekend in Yangon. Dr A anticipated that my meal plans would probably have been disrupted so we agreed to meet again in 2 weeks’ time instead to check on my progress. So on the whole, things are still looking up. I’ll keep with the updates don’t you worry, and I’ll be sharing more recipes in upcoming posts, as well as give you the scoop on our trip to Yangon!

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Chicken Tonight.

Flo’s friend Chris just left to Phuket yesterday after spending 5 days with us from Germany. Flo’s leaving tonight to join him for a long weekend break so I’ll be all by my lonesome the next few days.

It’s been a busy week so far with baking and meetings and health-checks, and later this afternoon, I’ll be going to see Dr. A. I also have quite a bit of housekeeping to do since I slacked off last week with Chris around. Okayyyy… So that’s more of an excuse since he did spend time out and about but stillllll…

One of the evenings Chris was here, we brought him to one of the few places he enjoys here in Asia – Din Tai Fung. The little soup dumplings have never failed us in titillating the tastebuds of many Europeans who have traversed our land. This includes Chris, who finds seafood a turnoff, and hasn’t managed to develop immunity against any level of spiciness. Oh and did I mention, no chicken for him either? But Xiao Long Baos? Big nod of approval!

He also enjoyed the Pork Chop Fried Rice as well as the Vegetarian Dumplings which are also a favourite of mine. Only this time around, their skin had a green hue and they looked like they’d slimmed down. Boo!! Still, the filling was tasty even if on the stingy side.

On Tuesday, we met up with another two local friends of Flo’s whom Chris had met when they holidayed in Hong Kong together a couple years back. Deciding on where to eat turned out to be quite the head-scratcher but in the end, we settled on…


Brotzeit’s the biggest chain in Singapore serving German food and of course, beer. Flo and Chris felt right at home. I think their food is skewed more to Bavarian cuisine with their famous Crispy Pork Knuckle and Schnitzel to be had.

The four men decided to share a Meat Platter consisting of a few varieties of German Sausages, Pork Knuckle and Pork Schnitzel, as well as a side of Mashed Potatoes and Sauerkraut. I underestimated their stomach capacity and thought there’d be food leftover but nope! They’d managed to pull their weight and clean the serving board!

I decided to hold back from the meat fest and went instead of their Seafood Salad. Sounds boring but with Seared Tuna, Smoked Salmon and a Giant Prawn chilling over a bed of Greens with Mandarin Oranges, Grilled Zucchini and Chopped Sun-dried Tomatoes, this was awesome!

Flo also ordered Pretzels. Proper, dense, chewy, savoury pretzels that were quite delicious with their herbed sour cream dip. These sure weren’t no Aunty Annie’s Pretzels y’all!

It was a good catch up and it’s always nice being able to meet with Flo’s friends. I always think it’s important to meet your partner’s friends and even better if you’re able to get on with them. Chris is the first friend from Flo’s tight circle back in Hamburg whom I’ve had the pleasure to meet. It took a while for us to warm up but I’m glad we managed to share some anecdotes and laughs together. This time next month, I’ll be over in Europe meeting the rest of Flo’s brothers from other mothers!!

Still home in Singapore though. I know that Flo’s been having quite a few stressful days at work, so last night, we decided to dinner at home so that we could also spend some quality couple time together. Following Flo’s meat streak, I decided to cook some chicken based on a recipe that I’ve been excited to try since weeks ago!

Although we had sides of Pumpkin Wedges and Sautéed Onions with Mushrooms, I made Grilled Chicken Breasts, Asian-style!

This recipe is simple to make, as with all my other recipes, and oh-so-yummeh! I liked the hint of spice along with that touch of sweet from the marinade. This might be my current favourite Grilled Chicken Breast recipe, along with the Mixed Spice one, simply because they’re so flavourful and the breast remains moist – or is that just my awesome cooking skills?

Which reminds me… Note to self: Cook the chicken another 30 seconds longer next time because these were just on the cusp of being cooked through. =X Also, one more piece of chicken for Flo who munched on a brownie after because one wasn’t enough. 

Asian Grilled Chicken Breast (Serves 2):

200g Chicken Breast

1/2 Tbsp Miso
1/2 Tbsp Gochujang 
1 Tsp Sesame Oil
1 Tsp Mirin
1/2 Tsp Chilli Flakes
1/2 Tsp Minced Garlic
1/2 Tsp Minced Ginger

  1. Butterfly the chicken breast to make two halves. 
  2. Mix all the other ingredients together and use to marinade the chicken for 1 hour or more – I had them sitting pretty in the fridge in the marinade for about 4 hours. 
  3. Just before cooking, let them sit out of the chiller for 15min so that they warm up a bit. 
  4. Heat oil in a non-stick pan at medium high heat and cook chicken for about 3-4 min on each side depending on their thickness. 

Easy peasy lemon squeezy! That’s it! If you happen not to have gochujang, you can also use your favourite chilli paste and add a little brown sugar to the marinade. Although, gochujang’s so versatile that you’d probably go through a small tub before you know it! Think: Kimchi Fried Rice, Bibimbap, Kimchi Seafood Stew, Dak Galbi aka Korean Spicy Stir-Fry… Oh the endless possibilities!

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This year, Mum decided to have our annual Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve since it happened to fall on a Saturday this year. Also, F says that in Germany, they usually celebrate Christmas on the Eve so technically, we had our festivities on the right day depending on where you’re from.

Mum’s Herb Butter Turkey

It’s always quite stressful for me whenever Christmas dinner comes round and I find myself anxious and constantly thinking about the amount of food being prepared and the number of people who may scrutinise what I eat, or how much I eat. All the more so because a lot of my cousins are now overseas on holiday or to study so instead of having 20-30 people as we did in previous years, we only had about 10 of us last night. This meant that we could all squeeze around the dining table and eat together for the first time.

I felt quite pressured into having to eat the food Mum prepared even though all I wanted to do was to fall back onto my comfort foods, my ‘safe’ foods. Of course, my parents understand and said that if I wanted to, by all means go ahead and not have what they were all having. Which would have been weird. And I didn’t want to draw even more attention to myself through what I was eating. So I had what everyone else was having – the roast vegetables, fresh salad, and I tried a bit of the roast beef and Mum’s homemade turkey courtesy of Jamie Oliver. I did however, pan sear some of my own seafood because I know I wouldn’t have had enough protein otherwise.

I guess at the end of the day, my family couldn’t care less what I ate, or didn’t eat, as long as I was with them, enjoying their company while they enjoyed mine. Sometimes, I tend to think that people are looking at me through a magnifying glass when in reality, the only person doing that is me. And I say I survived this Christmas because I know that I probably didn’t push away that little voice of negativity in my head quite as much as I should have – could have?

Anyway, dinner aside, I really enjoyed catching up with the family and seeing them. It also made me feel a little sentimental in knowing that in a matter of a week, so many things will change. I’ve cleared pretty much all my shelves in my room and it now looks so forlorn. This home has always been ours since I was born and has been a mainstay to me growing up all the way to now. Even when we lived overseas, we always had this place to come back to on holidays. The ghost of me will soon inhibit my room and I will move on to create more new memories somewhere new.

The other day, Mum reminded me that no matter what, this is still my home and I can come back to it any time. I know that. But I also know that change is part of life and for that, I am thankful that God has blessed me with F. Because home will soon be with him. And I’m looking forward to the beginning of that new journey, not only in growing as a person, but also with him.

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Every so often, life delivers a little rainbow before my very eyes that makes me think about how very truly awesome our God is.

I have mentioned a few times quite vaguely that I am not doing so well on the health front. It feels surreal this time namely because I still feel as active as before and I guess without medical attention hovering over me after pulling myself out of it years ago, I don’t sense an urgency to do much about my situation. Of course, knowing that I want a future and a family with F is a huge pull factor for me to get to a healthy place not just physically, but also in my relationship with food, but more often than not, I wake up each day falling back on old habits and routines simply because they make me feel secure, in control, safe.

Time waits for no man, and it certainly doesn’t wait for me. Sadly. If I could have any one thing in the world, it would be a ‘Pause’ button so that I can sit life out a bit until I feel emotionally and mentally strong enough to face it head on. Alas, that is no such thing as a ‘Pause’ button. Perhaps many years from now, way into the future. But not now.

Over the last year, rather than face the storms of fighting ED, I’ve allowed it to lull me into a slumber where I do just enough to keep myself going, and just enough to keep its haunting voice of abuse at bay. It feels as though we’ve come to a consensus in the eating-exercise-weight balance but inside, I know that that is not how life is.

So imagine my surprise when Dad said there was mail for me. and I stuck my hand out waiting to receive a white envelope with my bank statement within. Instead, in my hand he placed a piece of card instead – a postcard to be exact. I excitedly turned it over to find out whom it was from. I didn’t know anyone in Taiwan apart from my 3rd aunt and it was unlikely that it was penned by her.

It was from Grace – we actually met online when she used to read my old blog and reached out to me to encourage me during my periods of struggle. Over the years, she has become very much like an older sister to me, someone I know I can depend on and talk to whenever I need a listening ear, especially one who understands the intricacies of an eating disorder. Now, she is a beautiful mother to a precocious little girl. And once again, in my time where fighting ED is not at the top of my mind, by God’s Grace (pun intended), I was thought of a sent a postcard while she was in Taiwan on holiday.

It certainly came out of the blue for me and as I read it, goosebumps began to form on my arms. Grace shared a little on the history of Mackay Hospital in Taipei and how Mackay was the first Western missionary who took up God’s commission to make disciples of this nation. He impacted the community in different ways, playing doctor, teacher, dentist, school-builder, church-planted, farmer, musician and the list goes on, and in doing so, he helped Taiwan to grow into the place it is today.

Grace then said that she hopes that in a similar vein, I too will be able to help shape the communities I am part of whether through baking, pastry crafting, or writing etc. And in doing so, that I will also inspire and encourage others as I ride on God’s glory and strength. Her words reverberated through my head and reminded me that in order to help others and touch the lives of those around me, I cannot wallow in this state of half-being.

If I want to grow as a person, and become the Natalie I know I have the potential to be – Natalie who laughs until her tummy hurts; Natalie who loves generously; Natalie who gives abundantly; Natalie who faces her fears courageously; Natalie who has always yearned for a family of her own… I know that she is still there, waiting to be let out. Waiting to be. And she will be.

Thank you Grace for your timely reminder. It is because of Earth Angels like you that I am also reminded of God’s presence in my life.

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Funny that ever since I developed the ED about 9 years back now, I also developed with it a sense of anxiety towards the unfamiliar. Or perhaps it became more pronounced because I know that since I was little, moving from country to country, hence new school to new school, meant constantly being thrown out of my comfort zone. It meant being the new girl and having to meet new people who would over time become new friends to me. Yet, I still recall that as frazzled as I would be on my first day in school, I would face my nervous apprehension and suck it up. I would enter class and have my entire day pass by in a blur, but as with everything, the unfamiliar would become familiar and I would always come to have a close circle of friends around me over time… Only to be yanked out of the country to start over again after a couple of years.

While I sometimes feel envy over friends who have known each other since Kindergarten and then grew up together, I don’t look back at my childhood with resentment. I honestly feel blessed to have been able to go through the experience of growing up in different environments and meeting friends from all over the world. I also feel that having been in the British-education system allowed me to grow a lot more as an individual which explains a lot of how much I struggled to fit back in and adjust back into the Singapore-system of education when we finally returned for good.

Upon reflection, I think I was a lot more hardy as a child and somehow, the ED gave me impetus to be more timid in tackling obstacles that I feel more uncomfortable with – simple things for most people such as meeting new faces, entering a new workplace, trying new foods… Rather than face them head-on as I used to in the distant past, I try to shy away from them and unbeknownst to me, I often end up feeling out of sorts without realising that the basis of those feelings stem from anxiety.

Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up with the case of the grumps and I couldn’t fathom why. I was texting F and kicking up a tiny fuss over random things and as he tried to reassure me, I found myself wondering why I was feeling that way. I began to realise that a part of me was anxious to meet his sister, who had just arrived from Germany Friday evening, as well as his friends. As a result, it made me reluctant to want to go out. It was like I was being tugged from under my safety blanket while I was all warm and comfy underneath.

But I did go out and I did meet Naima and all that nervous energy flew right out of me the moment I met her. She was amazingly easy to get on with and our conversations flowed smoothly with us sharing quite a few laughs together as well. If ever I could choose myself a sister, it would be her. Naima, F and I spent a couple of hours trawling through Orchard’s shopping malls before we slowly made our way to our dinner venue to meet F’s friends.

Christmas is in the air 🎄

Dinner was at one of my favourite brand of restaurants – Imperial Treasure Super Peking Duck. Yes, the superlative ‘Super’ is definitely in there for good reason because they serve peking duck cooked with love, rendering the skin to a fine crisp crackling while still keeping the meat moist and juicy. That being said, their beef served with garlic chips was beyond amazing. Everyone at the table was mind-blown at the explosion of flavour and tenderness retained by the thick slabs of beef cooked perfectly pink in the middle. But I digress…

Meeting F’s friends turned out to be good fun too. I felt just as I did before I had the ED. I was able to chat with them, laugh with them, and feel at ease being myself amidst people I had only just met. I didn’t have to worry about talking too much, or saying the wrong things, because I know that F accepts me for who I am and loves me anyway, even if I do talk too much sometimes, or even when I put my foot in my mouth when I speak before thinking. I didn’t feel any pressure to be anything other than who I am and I felt free. I felt happy!

In fact, I even managed to get on the good side of one of the managers there who sweetly obliged to my request for Liu Sha Baos to round up our dinner even though they are really only available at lunch. He kept insisting that I return for dim sum at lunch another time and cheekily whispered that he will make sure I get dessert on the house. And as we left, he quickly came to the entrance of the restaurant to bid us all goodbye, inviting us to visit again soon, and that he would definitely remember me for my hair. Hmm… Not sure how that works! He does get extra bonus points for calling me ‘mei nu’ (pretty girl) several times though – I’m so easy to please.

It’s interesting I find, how many top Chinese restaurants in Singapore often have male managers who appear to be a little effeminate. I think that’s their strength because they’re able to banter with aunties and tai tais without being a threat to their husbands. Their PR skills tend to be top-notch which keep the ladies of leisure coming to dine at the establishment. And while I am not a tai-tai, nor an aunty (give me at least another 30 years please!), I’d seriously go back just for him because his service was on point!

With happy bellies, and F’s friends having to go their own way post-dinner, Naima, F and I decided to unwind at Chijmes since it was a nice, cool night. Also, we thought that Naima would enjoy seeing Chijmes and how pretty it is, having formerly been a convent and now, a site renovated and filled with food establishments. We had a drink each before we decided to call it a day. And I tell you what, I’m glad I pushed ahead and met Naima and F’s friends because I ended up having one of the best evenings I’ve had in the longest time!

Speaking of facing the unfamiliar, when I’m in the kitchen, I enjoy playing around with ingredients and trying to make unusual flavour combinations work together. The methodical nature of baking often serves to calm my nerves and sooth my temper as well – which is exactly how I ended up pottering around the kitchen before preparing to go out yesterday.

Seeing that I had leftover ground hazelnuts and fresh basil at hand, my kitchen experiment ended up featuring Hazelnuts, Basil and Chocolate. The basil within the cake gave it a refreshing herbaceousness that broke through the deep, dark richness of the chocolate and the earthy tones of the hazelnuts. I piped some Hazelnut Mascarpone cream on top and garnished it with Candied Basil Leaves, Caramelised Hazelnuts and cubes of Espresso Brownies for that extra indulgence.

So if you’re feeling a little adventurous and up for a taste of something different, this is my recipe for…

Hazelnut Basil Chocolate Torte (Yields 1 x 8″ Round)

125g dark chocolate
125 cream
Handful of fresh basil leaves 
1 tsp vanilla

100g ground hazelnuts
65g cornstarch
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
90g icing sugar

4 large eggs, beaten

1. Preheat oven to 175 deg C.
2.Melt dark chocolate with cream, vanilla and basil leaves in a bain-marie, or microwave in short bursts of 20 seconds until chocolate is melted. Strain mixture if you prefer a lighter basil flavour – I chose to blend the basil into the ganache mixture for a stronger flavour. 
3. In a separate bowl, whisk ground hazelnuts, cornstarch, baking soda, salt and icing sugar together. Then incorporate into chocolate mixture. 
4. Fold eggs into the batter until just mixed through. 
5. Pour batter into lined 8″ round tin and bake for 35-40min or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. 

You can sieve icing sugar on top to finish, or glaze it with chocolate ganache and toasted hazelnuts. Have it any way you like, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it either way because I did! I can assure you too that any anxiety you might be facing will drift away with each mouthful of this delightful cake.

Thinking back to yesterday re-emphasized to me the need to break away from my comfort zone and challenge myself from time to time. It also reminded me that within this present person of mine that has been weakened over the years by the ups and downs of ED, there is still a Natalie. A Natalie that is strong-willed, optimistic, people-loving and bubbly. She does appear from time to time, but if she can break through this cast that ED has built around her, she can be free. Totally free. It’s just… fears.

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As much as I enjoy taking amateur-trying-to-pass-off-as-a-professional photos of my finished bakes, what is presented to the world, or really the Instagram/Facebook/Blog community, are only the cakes and pastries that turn out successful. Failures of my bakes can range from underbaking, overbaking, failure to rise, undesirable marriage of flavours… And the list goes on.

When my first attempts at macarons failed.. Lol.

What do I usually do with poor outcomes? My first instinct is always to throw them away, but Mum always finds a way to save them by exclaiming that they taste amazing still or that they are not at all bad, although there have still been some that even Mun couldn’t rescue and were destined for the bin. It never sits well with me when there are bakes in our home that are not up scratch and I hate to think that they might be given away even though they fall far short of my standards. So usually, I tell Mum not to let me know what she’s doing with them or whom she is giving them away to. It’s true, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes.

So burnt cookies get binned; underproved bread with a dense crumb get a second chance and are often devoured by my bread-loving mummy dearest; odd flavour combos get redistributed to friends and around the neighbourhood; and the good stuff go into the homes, and stomachs, of families celebrating special occasions, or for no good reason at all apart from the fact that there can never be too much cake!


A couple of years ago, I began to bake once-a-weekly at a cafe/bistro that champions the cause for autism by hiring and training autistic staff to serve within their dining establishment. They had wanted to make a shift from ordering wholesale cakes to having freshly-baked in-house cakes. They also had a boy who had some baking experience so they wondered if I might be able to teach him the recipes for the range of cakes I would be baking for them.

I have never worked directly with an autistic person before and while I was open to the idea, I was apprehensive about how to go about doing so.

QJ, at first meeting, was quiet but eager. Over the weeks, he began to get more familiar with me and often jabbered on about something or other, usually the same things each time. He had an enthusiasm that impressed me because even when he made mistakes and I told him off for them, he would come the following week, rubbing his hands in anticipation for the baking session to start.

The most difficult part of training him, for me, was the need to repeat myself a lot of the time. Weeks turned into months and what he learned in those months was what most ‘normal’ (according to most of society) people would have learned in weeks.

It was frustrating for me at times but it also made me reflect and realise that I needed to exercise an extra portion of love and patience towards QJ. I admired his child-like excitement whenever he stepped into the kitchen, and how much he loved being able to do something, anything to help with baking, be it weighing flour, preparing baking tins, or simply setting the timer. It was humbling for me to take a step back and acknowledge that as much as I was supposed to help hone QJ’s baking skills, he was in fact teaching me how to be a better human being.

QJ has since returned to his usual duties within the bistro and doesn’t work with me much anymore. Yet, whenever I see him, he calls my name and asks each time when we will be baking together again. When I say that I love to bake, I don’t think it is anywhere near QJ’s love for baking.

Whenever I have a baking flop, I surrender myself to the baking gods and not only feel annoyed with myself, but start to question my baking abilities. I get distraught and down-trodden when I mess up or when my bakes don’t turn out the way I envisioned them. Then I look at QJ and how he keeps trying to pipe shells, or remember the right steps to making a chocolate sponge, or check to see if a cake is baked through. Every. Single. Week. And I cannot help but feel ashamed at how easily I give up sometimes.

Failure is relative. And what I deem as failure may be someone else’s success. I guess that’s why even cakes or pastries in imperfect states can still be salvaged. Like an apple, you can cut away the portions that may be underbaked for example, and still eat the parts that are baked. It’s all about looking at a problem and figuring out a solution or how we can make best of the situation.

In the end, the heart of baking is really just baking with heart. And no matter the outcome, those who receive it will somehow be able to tell that the main ingredient in those bakes is love – and that, really is the most important ingredient!

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